Wars – Nothing but Pain

How it will be to leave our country and be in some other place where the air you breathe is not yours,
the wind that caress is not yours, the sky you see is not yours?
You can't go to the place where you spent your childhood?
How it will be to leave all your friends, lovable ones and your properties and flee away one fine day?
They would've left their friends, their favourite tree/plant or their much loved stuffs.
Will they know when they will be able to go back to their place?
Do they know where they are heading?
Do they know how their future will be?
W/ a heavy heart and like a bird which doesn’t know its destination, there they leave...
W/ tears that couldn't get those answers but more questions, there they leave...
Leaving all they know and loved, there they leave...

Is this the case in one or two countries? How many people? How many of them become homeless
every other day, how many of them become refugees every day? Do we know?
Do we care? Do we bother?

What we did from our end? We see news everyday in TV and newspaper and continue w/ our day to life.
It’s just news for us. But for some people, this is LIFE. This is their day to day life.
For us, it is just some hot news sitting relaxed on our couch we sit and watch the news. Yeah, we are just common people; we can’t do anything to stop all these. We get up, go to office, crib about work, crib about food, crib about managers, compare our 60k salary w/ 75k salary and speak all day about our worries.
We forget that people are there who doesn’t even have a job, who doesn’t have a dress to wear, no home to get back in the night, no food to eat. We don’t care about them. Yeah, I am also like you. Shouldn’t we feeling guilty? We are cursing god that we are not born as Tatas or Birlas or Ambanis. But we should be grateful right that we are not born there and torn into pieces physically and mentally by wars?

We are just normal people. We just know only to crib. When will these sufferings end? When we will understand that love and Peace? When we will learn to love people? When we will stop the war?
Isn't wars are just political dramas and common people doesn’t get anything from wars
Except troubles and pain?

Travel - Mantralyam, Panchamukhi and Bitchalaya

Swami Ragavendrar – heard about swamiji so many times, but never felt like seeing him or visiting that place. Suddenly, my life got changed and prayed to every god on earth for my loved one to get well and Swamiji’s name strike in my mind. I prayed to Swamiji and thought of visiting Mantralaya.

I am here in Bangalore for over 4.5 years but never even thought about visiting Mantralya. Suddenly we decided about going to Mantralaya on May 1st 2008 and we went and searched for tickets. Luckily we got tickets in KSRTC. Though trains are available to Mantralaya we didn’t got tickets in that short span. KSRTC has very good bus services available to Mantralaya. We booked a sleeper coach and it was @10pm from Majestic.

May 1st was a Thursday and that too Eka Dasi and moreover 4 days holidays was also there. We inquired in the Matt which is in Jayanagar 3rd block regarding accommodation. We got to know that they have stopped advanced booking long time back. We didn’t have any clue whether we will get accommodation. But something said us that we will sure get accommodation.

Mantralayam is in Andhra Pradesh and it was said that it will take around 10hours to reach. But to our surprise, we reached next day morning 5:30am hardly 7:30hours travel. We went to 2/3 hotels and asked for rooms to just take bath and get ready. Surprise!! So many rooms were available. But they charged atrociously. Either by seeing us or special day. Whatever, we inquired in 2/3 hotels, bargained and finally got a room in one hotel and paid 75bucks per person for taking bath and getting ready.

Good we reached early. By 7am we were ready and we were in temple premises. Not much rush, but then so many folks were already there taking darshan. We went and had darshan. Till 8am there were no special entrance so we entered through VIP entrance and had darshan second time. No pooja was performed that day cos of Eka Dasi and no prasadham was distributed. We got pooja items, got Mruthika[ holy sand from Swamiji’s tomb] and got idols inside the temple premises itself.
After breakfast, we all are set to visit Panchamukhi and Bitchalaya. Share Autos are available but will take time to start until it gets filled up and you will be squeezed completely. So we hired a Shared Auto exclusively for ourselves. For panchamukhi and Bichalaya we gave 300 bucks. Could be costlier. But no other option that day, since so much rush and no one was ready to come anything lesser.
We started to Panchamukhi in bumpy roads properly breaking our back. I thought anytime I will fall from the auto. Mantralaya by itself is a very small village and so as other places. May month, sun was @ his peak and we were in Andhra  We got roasted properly. It was nearly a 1 hour journedy and we reached Panchamukhi. It’s a hanuman Temple.
Swamiji did thapas[penance] for 12years and Lord Hanuman pleased w/ Swamiji appeared before him. Lord Vishnu also appeared before swamiji along w/ Lakshmi devi and gave darshan. Then Swamiji came to Mantralaya and attained jeeva Samadhi. You can see a ‘Padaraksha’ Shrine and some natural rock formations like ‘bed/pillow’ and ‘aerial vehicle’. There is one temple for a goddess named ‘yarkalamma’ which is a naturally formed rock idol statue. One can also see the foot wear and gadham of Lord Hanuman in the temple premises.

Then we visited Bitchalaya. This is the place where swamiji used to do thapas and it is believed that every night, Swamiji comes here from Mantralaya in the form of ‘jyothi’ – light. One can see a ‘tulsi Madam’ carved out of a single stone. Bitchalaya lie in the banks of River Tungabadra and it’s a very calm and serene place.
We spent nearly 3.5 hours in visiting these places and came back and settled in Mantralaya. There are not many places to see in and around Mantralaya. So if one reaches early and has their return ticket booked around 9pm or so, they can book room in the morning, visit Panchamukhi and Bitchalaya come back and take rest. Else you have to sit in the temple premises only as we did. The temple closes by 2:30pm and re-opens by 4pm again. We had one more darshan of swamiji in the evening and started back by 7pm KSRTC bus. The Rajahamsa bus we travelled reached Bangalore by 3:30am itself.

Since the route is through Adoni, we reached early else could have been extended to 1-2hrs extra. The temple is just 100mts away from the place where the KSRTC bus stops and it’s just a small village. No need to pay to auto walas to reach temple from bus stand. And we heard that all these places are Naxalite areas and we came to know only after visiting. But no problem happened in our trip. Swamiji is there to help us  overall, a nice and must visit religious place.

Nothing but Software - Appraisal Time Now :-)

Disease – Appraisalosis
Period of Disease – Occurs every 6 months between Dec - Jan and Apr – May [majorly depending on the place of survival]
Symptoms
1. Irritation about future happenings
2. Mind will start searching for justifications
3. Getting prepared for boxing
4. Enemies will suddenly appear and mostly will wear Manager mask
5. Relationships breaks
6. Sudden inquisitiveness about others and brutal satisfaction on other’s losses
Precautions
Nothing as of now. Everyone who is in s/w should go through it. Cursed. No Escape

This is May 2008. Symptoms started on others. I am in peace. Eternal peace. I am not disturbed. Funny :) I am not irritated. Wow!! I am not interested in fighting. Cool :)
I am smiling @ people who can even lower my rating purposefully. Great :):):)

Am I tensed? Am I nervous? Am I worried about my rating?

NOPE, NOT AT ALL ... :):)

Is anything wrong w/ me? AM I OK? Will people be thinking that I’ve gone nuts if I don’t show any symptoms? :(:( Now that worries me...

Why am I like this? Might be this is my ...wait I am counting....8th appraisal yeah  4.5yrs in a company. That’s the reason I guess. Got used to this 

I remember my first appraisal :) Still fresh in my memory.

It was Apr 2004. I was being told about this appraisal process. First hurdle I faced was “Filling up my tasks” Good!! That confused me. Though I worked for 2/3 months in a project. I was still in confusion, what are my responsibilities. What I did in these 2/3 months? Yeah, Big question. I approached my senior guy and asked him...

“Hi eee...... [eeeiii. Did my smile showing up that I came to him for some favour?”
“Hi....”
“Busy??”
“Its ok. Tell me”[anyways you’ve troubled me, go ahead]
“Actually, this appraisal. I want to know, what we should fill in the tasks column”
“hmm..Fill the tasks whatever you did”
[I didn’t know that right. Then will I be filling your tasks or what]
“oh okie. I got it. But what to fill?... means exactly?”
“whatever you did, you fill. Okie”
[wow!! That’s a great answer...grrhhhh!!!]
“hey thanks! Thanks for the information”

I don’t understand what satisfaction these people get by making us to take a run around w/o giving straight forward answers. I remembered this
“Software folks shouldn’t code straight forward and anything that can be done w/ in 2 lines of code should at least run for 2 pages”

I thought might be this guy is that software guy they are talking about. Two days went by I didn’t fill anything in the tasks. Open the appraisal form and close it back. Like a spy, I kept on watching others and peeping into their monitors when they open their appraisal form. I will get alarmed when I see someone‘s screen glows w/ that blue colour form. Stretching from my chair abnormally, doing acrobats and all possible tricks, I ended up finding only one task 

Then spoke w/ my batch mates who were in the same boat as me and finally filled up something. Then the biggest thing was self-rating. How to rate myself? I never did that before not even in my mind or heart. Now in a form and that to submitting it to some person. I thought I am the noblest and straight forward person ever been born on this earth, trying to the truthful, I gave a self-rating of B [which means ‘Met Expectations’] and submitted to my manager.

I was so happy w/ the way I filled my form and about the genuineness I showed. I thought day and Night about the appreciation and accolades I am going to get during appraisal. I rehearse led about explaining them to my friends and consoling them about their bad appraisals. Then the D-day came. My manager called me for appraisal. I stood up from my desk, gave a wide smile to my teammates and entered into the conf room hiding all my tension and nervousness.
[ My teammates gave a grin when I went, I didn’t understood that signal that time  which I did later]

I entered. I didn’t know what happened for nearly 1 hour. Like a rabbit got caught in a Lion’s den
I was chased end to end and torn into pieces  I got the lowest rating which I didn’t even dream off. My manager convinced me that I am a horrible resource and I am unfit to be in software. I came out to realise that are much more wounded preys like me hee hee all my friends and we felt a crude happiness that everyone had that rude shock treatment.

My first appraisal was a heart broke to me; I fought to the core and came out losing the battle. Second appraisal, I felt very disappointed and they played a new game named ‘politics’ and before even I get ready, I got plasters and came out. Third appraisal gave me a thought like “Will these things also happen???”

No..No I am not going to say about all my appraisals. Now one of my recent appraisals went like this..
“This is your appraisal form. Are you ok w/ it?”
[Like a Buddha w/ peace in my face, I smiled @ my PM when he gave the form to me]
“yeah Its fine”
“Are you ok?”
“Yeah! Absolutely fine w/ me”
[He got confused, why am I not fighting after entering the boxing ring]
“Sure????”
“Yes”
“ok...”
[He gotta confusion of his lifetime, thinking what I will do next? Will I escalate? Or will I leave it as such? Why I am not fighting back? What could be my plans?]

First time, I started liking appraisals  Appraisal is a formality which occurs @ some time and the results are pre-determined well before the actual tasks are planned and it purely depends on person and not the tasks or talent. Well briefly..Appraisals are person oriented evaluated based on persons and not the work you do :):) So.....just keep smiling and let it pass by :-D

Gossips…

When we learned gossiping? Not sure.. But gossiping became a character w/ in us. We all gossip about almost all possible things under the sun. When we were kids in school our favorite topic of gossiping will be the school teachers. We all want to know whether the “Miss” who look pretty and whom we like most is married or not. There will be always rumors all around the school that she is married/ she has a boy friend.

Our attention will move to the gals/guys in the class when we reach our college. In college we would’ve gossiped the most. All our disappointments and frustration will turn as imaginative stories on others. Work, neighbors, and celebrities no one it spares. Everyone would have got affected in their life because of the gossips by others on them. But no one wants to stop gossiping even after getting affected. They want to gossip more and take vengeance by gossiping. All will get a brutal satisfaction when they spread stories about the people whom they dislike.

Gossips trickles in our body all throughout our life. It stays w/ us right from our childhood till we die. It comes w/ us like our own shadow. Like a cyclone fear will round us up when someone gets affected by us. Trying to hide our fault we say much more bad things about that person justifying our stories. We all fear to accept mistakes but we all expect others to accept their mistakes. We all live w/ scars we got by hurting others w/ our stories. We are hiding our scars w/ more scars.

We are surrounded my numerous rumors all around us. We are carrying them wherever we go.

Gossips are in the air invisibly holding us, crushing us, and squeezing us w/ its innumerable hands. Before gossiping ask yourself “Whether you want to do that “ “What if it’s going to cost a life” Why you want to do that” “ don’t you feel like a savage animal when you hurt others by gossiping”.. I need not say all the questions you wanna ask yourself. But do ask once at least before you come up w/ new stories and spreading them.

Now, don’t gossip that “She might be affected badly that’s why she is giving lecture like this “ :-)

Ponniyin Selvan..

Nevertheless to say anything about those two magical words! Whoever know and read these words will definitely say “wonderful novel”

Yep! A great historical novel ever written. Even when the novel was coming in series in Tamil magazine kalki, I started thinking about this novel.

Though I never read this novel that time (‘cos quite very young :-) ) but used to watch the way my parents w/o failing buying this book every week, read the story, tear those pages alone and keep it safely. This routine continued for years till the novel got over.

And my parents bind those pages into a book and kept it safe. Till that time, I used to wonder what is there in that book, to preserve it so much safely. I never got a chance to read that book ‘cos of various reasons that were said to me like too young to read, exams are approaching that this all sort of things.

Then finally, the D-Day came and the book was given to me to read.

Ponniyin selvan..

What a book!! I read it in one shot..I don’t remember when I read guess in my 10^th standard holidays!

Marvelous book. Thought it’s a huge book, w/ five volumes, not even a single second I felt bored about the narration, not even a bit of sluggishness nothing I felt.

I almost raced w/ the book, w/ all my senses stuck w/ the book only. And the way kalki[ the author of the book] has described ..Whether it’s the events or the situation or the appearance of the characters .. be it anything…simply awesome I should say!

And the illustrations by Maniam’s ( great painter) were simply breath taking. When kalki explains something, I will rush up, flip through pages and search for Maniam’s painting for that scene.

In sync they will be …I should accept.

W/ this blended work kalki has given a feel as if you have lived w/ the characters. As if you became an invisible person, who traveled w/ each and every character, watched their act closely and you will feel your presence in every scene of the book.

When Vandhiyadevan jumps over the wall, you took would have followed him. When Kundavai longs for her love, you too would’ve felt bad w/ her. You will feel yourself somewhere in the novel and will try to fit into it some how for sure :-)

You will feel that you never lived that life, and will long to be there in that age after reading the novel.

I felt so! And Vandhiyadevan is my favorite character in the novel, my hero I should say!Let me read the book once again! I always say to my friends that I wont read the same book twice..

But exceptions are allowed for exceptional works!! :-) :-)

Kudos to Kalki and Maniam and to the great novel!

Books vs E-Books

E-Books - a recent one getting rid of paper bound form of book. See now I am finding it difficult to differentiate b/w book and e-book ‘cos of a new form introduction.

Guess this will be the problem, when something new gets introduced, then the original one loses its individuality and you got to explain people properly which form you are talking about old one or new one J Ok Leaving this here let’s go back to our topic..

I started reading books long back way in my school days. Something amused me in reading; I started reading all forms of printable versions that comes to my house as magazines, papers, novels whatever it is.

Now after this e-book introduction, I started feeling something uneasy. To be frank I never liked to read e-books in e-book format. E-book format in the sense reading it by sitting before PC.

I always liked holding the books, feeling the essence, allowing your mind to wander w/ the book come back and start w/ the page you left and went. Books stored in cup boards will always give a pleasant smell - only book lovers can feel :-) I love wandering through the cupboards of the library like a lone warrior cruising along some mystic mountains.

I like book marking the books, come back after some time, see the book marked page and sink into memories.

In childhood, books are secret places to store special flowers ;-) , hand written precious papers, place to grow your peacock feather and much more.

How e-book can replace this feel? Impossible…..

One thing I liked about e-book is – easy mode of transport and I have collected lots of my favorite books. Know what I am going to do w/ that ;-)

What else ..Take print outs of them, bind them, transform it to a book..and then read and enjoy :-)

[ I can hear people saying “you can’t change some people” :-) ]

Huge Novels..

When I was given AYN RAND’s ‘Atlas Shrugged’ to read, I said to my friend suddenly “what a huge book, more than 1000 pages”

“Haven’t you read any kinda huge novels before?”

“Nope I don’t think so....hey wait..Yes I did…I have read before”

“Which novel?”

I said “ Ponniyin Selvan – the great historical novel ever written”

I am not here neither to talk about Atlas shrugged ‘cos am only some 10% through there and nor about Ponniyin Selvan – cos this needs a separate column to talk about that. That much special :-)

I used to think, how much time will these writers would take to write those kinda big novels? Even if they write, on what confidence they are writing that their book will be published?

How about people giving preface to that novel or the editor/publisher, would they have really read the novel fully? I don’t know yaar!

But thank god! Before I post anything here..I need no one’s approval or editing here :-)
What a nice technology…. !!

My happiest Day - My Niece

After soooo looonnggg,I am posting something in my blog.It's 'cos of the small cute angel that has arrived in our house :-) Yep!! My sister gotta baby gal hurrraayyy!!!

Our angel landed on Jan20th. hmm Big day!! Full tension, and finally smiles and excitement all around.

Once I got the news by 2pm I started from bangalore immediately to Madurai to see the baby. Before I board the bus, got loads of chocolates, stuffs for the kid and called up all my friends, shared the news w/ them. I was in Seventh heaven that time.Was exchanging words about the baby w/ my mom, brother and everyone in the call.

All 12 hours journey I was thinking about the baby only, how she will look like, whom she will resemble? How big she will be? So much thoughts and slept off w/ that itself. I rushed home, got ready and went to the hospital. They made me wait for 10minutes since check up was on.

Gosh!! 10 minutes seemed to be a biggg time for me. And finally I saw the baby. She was sleeping by the time I saw her, w/ her pinkish hands kept over her cheeks. Small soft blackish hairs, pink color cute legs and hands. ……………..Completely elated I stood speechless there.

Hmm how a small baby w/ its smile can turn things down in life? Suddenly the whole world seemed to be full of love and smiles, welcoming me w/ a big bouquet of roses. New experience ever I felt.

It has been nearly a month she’s born and no one is caring for anyone except for her :-)She stole all our love completely for her. Everyone is elated when she smile, see, move her cute hands/legs. And everyone will be on their feet when she cries. Her each and every action has been discussed in detail across miles over phone and conveyed to all needed persons :-):-)

Enuf!! I started missing my sweet baby so much :-(:-(

Kids!!

This small girl I saw her while playing in the streets when I went to Jayanagar 9th Blk, Bangalore where I stay. She is so cute...little with a height till my knee. She captured my attention.Suddenly she entered the shop, where we were purchasing something...It’s a quite big shop... I was taken aback by a jerk that time. I started Thinking how she entered such a big shop without any hesitation. I started
fearing will the shopwalas chase her away since she is from roadside?
Then later I realized. She is a CHILD. She don’t know anything about our false status or the difference in the kind of life we lead...She doesn’t have any boundaries in life. All are humans. All are lovable on earth no partiality, no indifference...the whole world is their playground.

The truth behind her action it strikes hard on my head! Bang!!!How we ourselves have created difference between us. We are restricting ourselves to our very own laid rules, false prestige, beliefs. We are prisoners for our own way of life. We are idiots.Children are like Gods! How true Is that!! I realized it. No no that small kid has made me to realize it!!

Nothing but Smiles

Once I got a friend who is so concerned about fitness, she successfully made me feel bad about my weight  I became over concerned such that most of the times I used to think and dream about myself becoming slim. An impossible mission I should say. I used to go for walking once in a while, try to enquire for gyms, trying out all diet stuffs and I finally ended up mathematically summarizing
My Weight is directly propositional to the amount of steps I take to reduce weight.
Suddenly one day I saw a magazine which has an article about ‘Easy Yoga steps to reduce Weight’... Udane en fitness singam muzhichukichu... aama yena appo time 12:30am (The fitness lion in me it woke up immediately though it was 12:30am in the morning) I took an owe that I should start doing Yoga from tomorrow to reduce weight...No What our elders have said Never put off anything for tomorrow ..Tomorrow is always late…
So I thought lets start off with the steps today mildly and proceed tomorrow. I got down from my bed kept the book opened in front of me in my cot and started doing yoga on the floor. My roomie she started watching me very scarily...No I am not bothered no one can de motivate me 
Enakke ennudaiya muyarchiya paarattame irukkave mudiyale...I appreciated myself so much for being so perfect and willful in life...
It was almost 20 min and I am almost tired stretching my hands legs in abnormal postures. Then came a Yoga posture where I have to sit down and bend forward more or like doing prayer (namas) as Muslims used to do. Then there came a complete silence world peace...suddenly I heard a voice somewhere very far who’s that..? Am I in heaven’s gate is that peter no it’s a gal’s voice any woman guarding heaven’ gate...No no it’s my roomie’s
What she is saying let me hear ‘ Priya! Wake up Go and Sleep in the cot and not in the floor’
Shucks!!! I slept there in the floor itself while doing that comfortable yoga posture...ha ha  now I stopped doing Yoga 

Habitual Pranks..

In a project I worked My PM he used to link all the team members extensions so that anyone can pick anyone’s call from their desk. He used to always insist us that none of his calls should be missed out or unanswered and he made us to answer his calls if he is not there. And I am used to this case for so long in my project say nearly some 6 months. One day I had a review with my PM at my desk… it was a real tough time since we were arguing so much on some requirement for so long without finding any solution. Suddenly his phone rang as a usual habit I picked up his call from my place and said a hello. The voice on the other side started off soliciting for getting a credit card. I got so irritated thinking is this the time to ask when things are firing up here I said ‘I don’t need a credit card’ and slammed the phone down. Then I looked at my PM and waited for his comments...he looked so shocked confused and said in a steady low voice ‘ Priya that is my call After so much of effort I managed to get that credit card fellow to give a call..What you have done now’. Then I realized what I did...I blinked at him without knowing what to say. I said ‘Sorry actually I didn’t realize some blah blah blah’ he said ‘its ok leave it’

I always burst into laughter whenever I used to think about it...and smile at the way I acted so stupidly without thinking... ha ha JJ

Jannal

Infy Syndromes...

Infy Syndromes...

Last Friday thinking something I tried swiping my card and started wondering why the lift door is not opening in spite of me swiping in my access card, then I realized I got to press the button :)hee hee My division where I work have a restricted access and always I have to swipe in to go outside and am held up with that habit of swiping in for lifts, all doors [even in home :( ] all passages..Ha ha

Then started thinking what kinda syndromes I have pertaining to Infy so started off listing them ha ha

And it always happens with me like I used to fill my plate fully while dining even in my home as there is only self-service here In Infy and whole of my family used to wonder why I am eating so awkwardly, now I am changed yaar..not like before:)

If I go out without Infy tag I feel so like that I am missing something... ha ha:)And now it's my friend's syndrome hee hee

One day I and two of my friends we went to a restaurant once we are done one of my friend she stood up and said wait and started walking carrying her plate..we were confused what she is tried to do..then later once she started walking I started realising what she is trying to do she tried to hand over the plate to the cleaners as we do in Infy. My other friend since he is not from Infy he was bewildered by the situation like what’s happening there ha ha Then I explained to him and we didn’t call her back and started laughing so much Once she went half way she turned to us and asked where to give the plate..we laughed like hell then she realised... came back and whacked us .. ha ha Infyyyyy Hope she wont whack me after reading this :)